Saturday, September 21, 2002
DIE CAMERON, YOU CUNTING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!
My fucking friends all suck cunting cock. Every. Last. ONE!!!!
So yeah, haven't heard from him in three weeks -- doesn't even bother to give me a fucking SMS to let me know how he is. All I get was an "im not going to tennis I have issues" one on Tuesday, and then no follow through? What the fuck?! So yeah, my other straight friends have all decided to bail on me as they are either working or having dinner with [LOVEPARTNER]. So whatever, I figure I'll get in touch with Cam to see what he's doing, except it's been so long I'm too nervous to call him (how embarrassing, Dawei) so I send him a cool witty SMS. His reply? "I'm with my boy. I'll call you later."
Gee, thanks for letting me know that piece of information you asshole. I'm not so pissed that he has hooked up, but I am furious that he hasn't bothered to let me know, or I don't know... thought it might be something he might like to share with me?! We used to bitch and gossip about everything, and now he doesn't have time for a fucking ten minute phonecall in three weeks? Shove your cunting happiness you asshole. I hope you get infected with AIDS or something and die so I don't have to deal with your stupid hot-cold attitude towards me. And meanwhile, calling your 30-year old slampiece your "boy" is really humiliating. For both of you.
I don't know why I care so much. Probably still got those romance-jealousy remnants around which does sting a bit. I'm just so BORED and feel sterile I just want someone to seem to want to show an interest in me at all. Now I sound like some big pathetic loser. So NOT the case. Well, it probably is. I just really like him, so I don't want everyone else to be right, when they say he was just using me to boost his ego when he felt down, and can then palm me off as he is a selfish cunt. Why would I like someone like that? I'm smart? I'm cool? I'm fun. Harrumph.
The obvious solution is to make new/more friends... but that sounds like too much effort. Cooking courses and social sports are sounding even less appealing now that I am filled with bitterness. Argh, how can I just kill myself? Oooh smoking!