Sunday, January 19, 2003
You know something? I don't think I'm half as popular as I think I am.
Last night, while hanging out with five of my good friends from first year uni, I found out that pretty much everyone new I meet hates me. Well, that might be a bit of an overstatement, but one told me that most people hated me at the New Year's party. Like, what the fuck? I thought I was being nice! Actually, I can't even remember talking to anyone really, other than a few people I knew. I might have been rude to them, but they already know my style, and know that I jest because I love. Oh, so I insulted the host's punch. But everyone was! It tasted like V-to the-O-M-I-T.
I just don't see why these people didn't like me. One stupid bitch even wore my sparkly party hat into the city, and hugged me when I left! Stupid cunt. Apparently she's meant to be this affluent snob, so maybe she was threatened by my splendour. I exude my superiority through non-flashy opulence: far classier than her tacky attempted Gucci number from Cue and her three seasons too late haircut from JustCuts. But really, should jealousy be expressed through hostility?
At any rate, I don't really care that these wannabe plebs didn't warm to me. I've made some really solid friendships immediately with really cool fun people who like me! Well, one of those went down the toilet it would seem. Stupid Cheekbones. The scary part of this info I got last night, was that apparently one of them wanted to kick the shit out of me because I was gay. Like, the fuck? I don't consider myself a campy guy. In fact, I'm hardly the stereotype at all. Well, I dress impeccable and have exquisite taste (and use the word "exquisite")... but I don't have a huge lisp, feminine hand gestures, wanky spirituality, a warbly multi-toned speech pattern, or any of that shit. I certainly don't go around crooning all the straight guys trying to woo them to my ways. AS IF! They all had beards. Okay, that sounds pretty gay, but I'm not like that when I talk!
So what was this dumbass' problem with me then? I wouldn't have thought they would have thought (woah) I was that way inclined, unless someone told them. Fools. But whatever the reason, it was a bit of a sad wakeup call. Luckily most people I associate with socially are upperclass/well-educated people who know better, or people from the more alternate social-scene who are all for alternate lifestyles. I've never been subjected to homophobia, and I'll be fucked if that's going to start now!
It does make me worry though, as I'm afraid that in social situations I'll start censoring myself, constantly worried something I say and do would be considered too camp. Even though I'm not queenie, I should have the right to be so! In some regards I'm lucky, because I never had any sexuality issues, and never really cared one way or the other if I didn't like pussy. I suppose though I was looking through rose-tinted glasses at the world though. I thought homophobia was becoming a thing of the past, but I'm starting to realise that there are some total deadshits out there. Hopefully in a few years I'll wield enough power to crush them. Or I should take up kickboxing.
I suppose the thing I've realised is why gay-scenes exist. I used to think that they were all about sex. I never really liked the scene, and prefer playing pool and drinking beer with friends, than sliding up and down on some oiled-up shirtless musclegod on a cum-sticky floor while Kylie wails over the speakers (although I have been known to *ahem* participate in both those activities). Also, I rarely like any gay people at all. I mean, more than just sex. But now I see that I guess they feel safe in those environments. Am I the slowest person in the world? Don't answer that.
Sigh, people really suck sometimes.
Oh, and props to the count if she made it this