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Sunday, February 23, 2003
I'm eating a bullet. Unfortunately, seeing as I don't live in America, I don't have a gun. Instead I'm going to ingest a bag of Doritos and a pack of cigarettes. I'm sure the result would be about the same.

So I found it next to impossible to find someone to come with me. Some people are away, others are busy with partners, even Cheekbones said he was working 'til closing (and I doubt he would have come anyway, as he hates doing anything that supports my love life as he is a selfish cunt. Or he just doesn't care). So anyway, I finally found a group of people who say they will come... on the condition that we go to the City first. These people are all "the Valley is boring so we have to get drunk first to go in!" Fine, whatever. So we are there for a while, get pretty pissed, and then I'm all: okay, let's go in now! Half the people were "nah, we're going home to bone soon", and the others were "I can't be bothered going, maybe next week". The fuck? Real good friends there. Not. Why are people so mean to me!?

They said I could go by myself, but what if he had moved on, or wasn't going after all? I'm not going to pay ten bucks cover to be by myself getting cracked onto by loathesome leather faces. The whole idea of people coming with me was that we could have a fun time anyway, regardless if he was there or not. The only bonus is that I might get laid. Which hasn't happened in AGES, and I am always so damn supportive of them when they are in relationship problems or whatever.

I was so mad at them I went into full bitch mode. Normally I use my snark for good and not evil, but this time I was in full poison mode. So then when I got home I was in the worst mood ever, and today has been even worse. I've been all depressed and embarrassed and feel LAME. So I'm going to have to do the whole flirtatious dance AGAIN. What if he picked up on Saturday and isn't interested anymore? Life is so unfair!

If you have a bullet, please fax it to me.