Pass the bleach and a Big Wire Brush o' Doom: Dawei went fagging last night.

Dudes, gay people are so lecherous! I'm embarrassed to associate with the majority of them. If you're older than thirty, you really shouldn't still be cruising for cock at those kind of places, especially if you are balding. Or have grey hair. Or BOTH. Don't you know any professionals (in the non-whore way, that is) or something? At the very very very least, please don't dance without your shirt off for hours on end, and then rub your sweaty hideous body into my wicked Itsus top. The colours are very fragile and I wouldn’t be able to bleach it.

The ones that weren't old and sweaty were either trés heinous, or incredibly up themselves arrogant, and even THOSE ones weren't exactly the epitome of Hot. Maybe my tastes are too high. Or maybe everyone just sucks. I prefer to think it's the latter.

Despite that, I still kinda enjoy the nights out a-faggin'. Where else can you see a tacky, cheap, nasty-ass dragshow and rip it apart with a feisty lemon with an undercut? The dragshow, although horrible, was a bit like a carwreck: you can't look away. It involves this really heinous he/she miming to songs, while two tall bleached dancer-boys who are about a handsbreadth across all the way up their body gyrate in a variety of nylon underwear, fuck-me-boots, and body glitter. Shudder.

The best (or worst, really) part of the show was when the hideous drag-queen left the stage to get changed for her next “number” while the two tall bleached dancer-boys in nylon underwear did some boring leg thrusting and gyrating. Anyway, the two tall bleached dancer-boys in nylon underwear eventually burnt rubber off the stage, peeling back a curtain to reveal... the worst Kylie tribute ever! Everyone knew it would be all about Ms Minogue as she was wearing a terrible knock up of the robot-outfit Kylie wore during the opening number of her Fever tour. Only of course, the dragqueen’s outfit was obviously made by some immigrant, and was nowhere near as cool as Kylie's Dolce and Gabbana outfit. Why they even bothered is beyond me. Isn’t Kylie meant to be like, a deity to homos? Isn’t ripping her off and doing her no justice at all like, sacrilege? She even did the lip-synching to Come Into My World, which is what Kylie sang as she wore the robot-bikini thing. How unoriginal. Maybe I should be just glad she didn’t wear The Sheet.

Stupid drag-queens. I hate them. I amused everyone though, as she bellowed into the microphone, asking: “is everyone really drunk tonight?!” Of course this was received with a mediocre response, so I snotted “not nearly drunk enough!”. Sniggering and appreciative looks in my direction ensued. Tsk, fags are so easy.

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posted by Dawei at 5:57 pm