Fever sure has got me good
What you do when fever takes hold
I can't help but need this drug
Don't you feel the fever like I do
Feel the fever

There you go, all you wacky 'mos out there: a Kylie Minogue lyric extravaganza! Okay, so it's not quite an extravaganza, but I like saying it so y'all can cram it. However, Ms Minogue has summed up my current state quite well (of course, she's talking about bumping uglies, I'm talking about Burning Up (geddit?) and having my nose shit snot and mucous for the past four or five days. Fortunately my gonorrhea-esque sore throat has gone, and my snot nose has gotten down to just a dribble, so now I merely sniff every ten seconds like a cocaine addict.

I think I still have a fever though, reducing me to delusional behaviour. At least, I hope I do, because otherwise my socio-sexual ideas of what is acceptable and desirable in the Dawei Boudoir are crumbling. I'm finding... Wil Anderson... HOT!!!!

Sidenote: Even though I may for a period find Wil boneable, I am still frightened by his Angus-esque forehead wrinkles in that photo. Thank you.

It all happened as I was hacking bright yellow phlegm into a tissue on Friday night, while watching The Glass House. You could say it was Love At First Sight (heehee, I'm so lame, but I'm sick, so I can laugh at my own jokes, thankyouverymuch). But yeah, that's fairly inaccurate, as I have seen him before, but just not in the "I want to see you naked and then spill fluids on you" kinda way. For some reason his girly high-pitched voice and weird hair stuck on me. Listening to JJJ, I've always been a Wil-man (as opposed to my sister, who is staunchly Adam-centric and once posed with photographers as his "wife" once when they were both totally hammered!). I mean, Wil never shuts up, and is always whipping out the useless pop-culture crap. Maybe that's what I'm basing my ideal man-ness on: someone who can bitch about lame TV with, and who can make me laugh as I always have to be "the funny one" and it shits me! UGH!!! That sounds like I'm looking for a relationship! Gross. Weak, Dawei. W.E.A.K.

And what if I'm not ill, and men like Wil and Angus Smallwood really are the kind of people I'm attracted to? Are all men with a goofy-to-bitterly-cynical senses of humour totally 'tard-esque? Am I retarded, and thus would fit in with them on the Special Bus anyway?

Man, it'd be so much easier to be a woman, as you aren't expected to do anything in a relationship but to spread 'em. You bitches have it easy.

|

posted by Dawei at 4:12 pm