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Sunday, June 22, 2003
Did anyone see StripSearch last night? Was I the only loser home on a Saturday night? Was I the only loser watching StripSearch on a Saturday night? All signs point to yes! That's the problem with wrapping up exams early: noone else has! So how did I celebrate my end-of-examiness? I made myself a pizza (base and all!), and drank a bottle of six dollar wine which, yeah, was definitely a mistake seeing it was magenta in colour and tasted like fermented ass.

I feel a bit guilty, as I seem to have turned into a forty year old woman. This is my House of Debauchery and Bee-yotching! And lately, I've done far too much bee-yotching, and not had enough debauchery. I am unimpressed. I have to get my debauchery by watching total fugmos prance around in damn-ugly g-strings.

(Sidenote: G-strings on men? Ugly. Unless the front pouch is made out of mesh, because then they are hilarious. But still not sexy at all.)

Anyway, does anyone actually watch StripSearch? Can someone clear a few things up for me? Isn't Shane Martel meant to be just like, an "apprentice"? And by "apprentice" I assume they mean a butt-bitch breathing cum-rag. But anyway, if he's only like, the pleb, why is he in the strip-thingies? Because he like, totally sucks which was why he was booted. And he seriously isn't cute enough to keep him around for the "aww" factor. I suppose the real question is "why hasn't Shane had some serious cosmetic dental work done yet, because holy shit! Bitch has some bigass teeth!"

Also, that guy with the tatts? Ugly. 26 my arse. Why is he in there? I thought strippers weren't meant to have tattoos?

Actually, they are all pretty festy. But for some reason, I have bit of a soft spot (hmm! Okay, not quite so soft) for Michael Cooper. I don't understand it. He has receding hair, blond tips, and is in some serious need of botox... but I swoon whenever he's onscreen. Maybe he actually looks good with his tongue stud, while most look heinous. Or maybe it's the pale eyes. Or maybe it's the way his eyes sort of smirk when he's laughing. Or maybe because he is probably the flamiest out of all of them, so it's just my natural instincts to zero my genitals in his direction, no matter what he looks like.

Or maybe I'm just a loser.

(Call me!)