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Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Booyah, I got complimented on my mad oral sKilLZZ today!

It was by my dentist. And before you all start highfiving me and showering me with glitter and confetti while carrying me around on your shoulders in triumph, celebrating in joyful chorale the fact that someone might actually find me sexually satisfying, he was merely commenting on my toothbrush technique and applauded me for still having no cavities. Unfortunately, my dentist is not a hot dark haired young man fresh out of university wearing a tight white shirt, his taut, toned biceps straining against the crisp fabric as he gently replaced the tooth scrape-y picking hook thing with his hard throbbing slab of dripping manstaff that he had subtly slid from his bulging black fagpants unbeknownst to me whilst I stared vacantly at the cheap rainforest poster stapled to the ceilinglaskjdlkasjd alskfjaslkdfj gflksdjfllksdfjljkga;lkergjale;kdrgjlak;erjga erglaekdrjgl;akdejgl;kadgjlkd;f hlkajdgh;lakjhadfg.

I need a shower. Preferably cold. But a steaming hot one with a detachable nozzle wouldn't go astray. (Although, speaking of sex and dentists, why does that fluoride liquid shit taste exactly like ass? Not that I know what ass tastes like, ahem).

Ahem, anyway. Mum was proud of me for not having to have any holes filled (hee hee), so she took me for a spot of clothes shopping. I might never get any of my holes filled, but dammit I can root (geddit? Sex root, but also root canal? See the way I craftily linked the dentist and sex jokes together? I'm funny.) out a funky pair of pants with my eyes closed.