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Monday, September 22, 2003
For all of you lameos who aren't from Queensland, or are just totally unaware of current events, North Stradbroke Island is on fire. So of course I decide that this would be the perfect time to jet over there for a nice relaxing weekend. I was a bit disappointed, really. I was expecting to see like, walls of flame [insert Dawei-is-flaming joke here] burning on the hills and shit, but instead all I saw was a bit of fog and a few blackened trees. Big deal. And the firemen weren't even hot! I hate rural Australia. I guess the Sun knew Dawei was unimpressed with the lack of burnage, so he decided to give me a fucking massive sunburn. It's pretty vile, my back and legs are all red, and I now have a weird-arse tanline. Stupid boardshorts. Now my rather awesome faggy tanline (ie, mid-thigh) is seriously screwed up. Stupid pasty skin! Isn't it slightly lame that my friend from England is like, five thousand shades darker than I am, and he comes from a country with no sun? I guess he is like, a negro though. Or an Arab. Something with chocolate-y gene goodness.

Oh, and patrons of Fluffy at Family on Sunday nights? Please get less ugly. There's a whole lotta ugly in that club, dudes.