Mum got her period yesterday. HELP! For those of you who don't know my mum (and I seriously hope that you don't), she should be barren as fuck right now. I mean, a few years ago we had to suffer through a period of ranting and bitching from her, whining "I'm menopausal! God it's hot in here. I'm FLUSHING! My GOD do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?! You kids are total cun... oh. A kitten! That's so... cute! [runs away sobbing]" Luckily for us she's a doctor, so she just pumped herself full of estrogen, or testosterone, or whatever the fuck you bitches need to stay sane once your beaver stops shooting out eggs.

But yesterday she came home from work tearing up, saying that she had "bleeding" for the first time in years. You'd think that she'd be well over getting her period at her age, and merely sigh, reach for the emergency tampons, and plug it up and move on, but apparently not. I had to be all comforting and stuff! Man, I'm so glad I'm a faggot so I wont have to put up with this shit on a monthly basis.

Her period couldn't have come at a worse time, as a good friend of mine has been staying at our place for the past couple of months, and he left on Tuesday for greener pastures. Anyway, since he left, Mum has misted up at the tiniest things, and has been all paranoid about why he left, and how sad she is that he wont be around for me anymore. I think she feels guilty, because she often compared the two of us as being faux-brothers, and she thinks that I would have been happier if she had shat out more than just one older sister for me. Her period reminded her that her cunt is soon to be bone dry, and she's missed the boat on providing siblings for Dawei. Or something.

In a way she's lucky, because I miss him too, but I don't have a fanny to blame these annoying feelings on. You women have the best excuse ever.

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posted by Dawei at 12:11 pm