My body clock is screwed. Now not only are my sleeping patterns erratic, but I'm getting really confused as to where I am in the week. What with going out boozing these past few nights, and yesterday's uni strike, I keep thinking that today is Sunday (not that it matters really. It's not like I do anything during the working week). But because my brain keeps thinking its the end of the weekend, I get all panicky because I have two cunting assignments due this week which I haven't started. I think I shall delegate them to my readers. You can either write about the media's portrayal of Mr Orlando Bloom, or like, an essay on the history of Vogue.

Speaking of gay, I was the biggest homo last night, and went to a proper fashion show! It was my first one (not counting those shitty highschool/amateur ones), so I was pretty excited. Unfortunately, the models were u-g-l-y. Well, one of the guy models was alright, but he took off his shirt, and he had a total Jack Scully body happening, which wasn't very appealing. Not that I can talk or anything, hmph. I had a good time though (I felt up some straight dude's cock and scrotum, so how bad could the night be?), being a faggoty-badass drinking Stella and Lychinis, and making snarky comments amusing the other homos. Like, one of the models had totally pointy norks, and I said "that chick's got conical tits!" I didn't mean to say it loudly, but everyone snickered and turned around to look at me. I hid my embarrassment by hardening my icy façade, cocking my eyebrow, and chugging back more of my cold beverage.

(I also burnt one of the fatter models, but she turned out to be 14, so I feel a bit bad about that so I shall just move on, I think.)

But yeah, I've decided that homos are pretty gross. I really don't know where all the good looking ones are. Not that it would matter, I guess, as I only attract the fugmo fags. Hmph. Seriously, maybe I'm hanging out at the wrong places. All my gay friends love to gloat to me about all the "really hot guys" who are hitting on them and wanting to fuck them and stuff. Where are all these hot poofters? And how come if you are always getting swamped, why are there none around you NOW? How come I haven't met any yet? Yawn. Am I meant to swoon or something?

I think it's all for the best, though. Lately I've gone through a big confidence boost, because I look around at all these fetid 'mos, and I realise that even though I'm not the best looking dude, I'm about five thousand times superior to them.

Check out Dawei, being all empowered and shit! Don't fret, I'm sure any day now I'll get dissed by someone and I'll be back to my usual bitter loser self.

|

posted by Dawei at 1:32 pm