Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Oh, my GOD!!!!
Did any of you guys watch the abortion of a program that was The Q Test: How Queer Are You? How utterly embarrassing for all involved. When Jo was on Big Brother, I quite liked her when everyone else despised her. For some reason I identify with skanks with no self-confidence and intimacy issues. Hmm, I wonder why that would be. However, from watching her "host" tonight's programming, it is clearly obvious that she has zero media potential, and should go back to lawyering, or at least learn how to apply sensible amounts of foundation. Because damn, bitch is starting to turn a nasty X-tina-esque shade of orange.
Meanwhile, the program cemented my fear that the Australian version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy will be filled with reality TV rejects. Johnny, Nathan, and Jamie (from various seasons of Big Brother "fame") were obviously trying to prove to the producers that they could do a good job so they would be asked back to be members of the Aussie line-up. Hmm, there's still room for two more in this frightening line-up of homosexual retardation. Oh, one is definitely going to be that faggoty-arsed Courtney Act from Australian Idol. BARF! I know poofters are hideous and repellent in personality, but surely there are less-noxious specimens available?!
Tonight's show proved that the current homosexual "media personalities" aren't up to scratch. They sunk faster than Ian Thorpe dropping to his knees in a darkened bath house; their forced humour was painfully tragic, and for the first time I was ashamed to be a 'mo. The image of modern fagtology in Australia seems rather grim. Weren't these boys hailed as sending a positive image of the homosexual lifestyle to the plebs of Australia? Breaking free from prior stereotypes and whatever? Spare me. I wouldn't be caught dead associating with such flamboyant fucks. I wonder if there was a way for me to speed up their HIV+ status so their AIDS would erode their foul faces already. Hmm. Maybe I could import some Negro children for them to rape? You know homos, they are totally down with the paedophilia. Especially the black kids, because they're like, way more hung than the boring white children who play in our parks.
A special note: Dear Jamie, You suck and are hideous. I believe "Warren" from the Virgin mobile ads was modeled on you. In this context, imitation is not a form of flattery. Please fuck off and die. Kisses, Dawei.
He was SO pathetically "snarky" tonight. Uhm, Jamie honey? You suck. Seriously. If you are marketing yourself as being a bitchy bad-ass faggot... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I could take you out in a rumble (be it verbal or physical) without even looking away from my mojito. Which, I might add, was paid for by a hot slampiece as looks wise? You are possibly the ugliest human being to be shat from a cunt. My GOD how does this creature have a job in the media, while I have to host my cunting images on fucking geocities?!
Anyway, what was the point of the Q-Test? I mean, "live" SMS updating of Australia's gaydar? The fuck? What's the point? The (outrageously offensive) "gay" answers were obviously "D".
Dear Channel 10 (and WHO, who also published the quiz),
Not every fag likes Madonna, Cher, Kylie, cleanliness, foi gras, and other such wanky "fabulous" crap. I'm more than happy to inhale a bag of chips, chug beer, and crunch the empty can between my palm and my forehead. Get over yourself. Leave the homophobic, acidic comments and to me. I do it better.