So we decided to paint our house recently (not The House, my, like, physical house. Although a redesign is possibly in the future!) so we went to a painter and got a quote. Do you know what it was? Thirty fucking thousand dollars. Say what?! To paint a fucking house?! What a rip-off! My God, I hate blue collar workers, they think they are so cool with their Ruggers and extortionate prices. And they never seem to do any work. When we were getting our house extended I'd swing by after school to see what was happening, and they'd all be sitting by the pool smoking. What lazy fuckers (meanwhile, I'm really pissed off because ever since I've been back in Australia it's been overcast. So annoying, especially as the clouds are usually around from 11-2.30 which is the only time I can tan. I want to get rid of my European pastiness, dammit!). If I'm (well, parents) are going to pay $30 000 dollars for a fucking coat of paint I would expect nothing but total dedication. And our maid suggested this painter, so it's probably the cheapest option out there. I'd hate to think of the prices of a painter recommended by someone worthwhile. For thirty grand I could get my eyes done. They are looking particularly Renée Zellweger-esque, in that they are being swallowed by my cheekbones and brow, leaving nothing but two narrow slits peeping through. UGH.

Maybe I could look into a career in blue-collardness though. The pay is way better, and you get the aforementioned perks of bumming by pools and smoking all day. I reckon I'd look pretty bangin' in those short-arse King Gee shorts too. Although, hmm, my thighs might need a bit of colour first. I am at a career crossroads, people! I could keep going with my degrees and then on to medicine, become a blue-collar bum, or finish my degrees and see if that "intelligence" agency at the career fair is still interested in me. Although for that I need to learn two more languages, but I was totally going to learn Danish anyway (I reckon a Danish teacher would be really hot).

Oh, and PS -- since being back in Australia I've put on two kilos, taking me up to a whopping 63kgs. Wooee! I'd better start eating properly, or I might blimp out.

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posted by Dawei at 2:28 pm