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Sunday, April 25, 2004
You know what I really hate that all the 'mos seem to be wearing these days? I mean, beside cheaply made, non-vintage trucker hats completely deprived of irony (and usually mass-produced by some lame surf company or "hip" label that is stocked at, ugh, General Pants Co. or Universal). I'm also not talking about Tsubi jeans, denim shorts of varying lengths, or Von Dutch products in their seemingly infinite incarnations.

Although, yeah, quit it with all those things too, you stupid faggots.

I'm talking about the more... intimate side of men's apparel. The underwear with which the modern gay guy chooses to adorn his body (see, I earned that 7 in Fashion last semester!) is appalling. All the 'mos out there reading (there must be at least one!), take a look down. If you are wearing 2(x)ist underwear, for shame. Could you be more predictable, unimaginitive, stereotypical, and lame? If said 2(x)ist underwear is white... fucking hell. Just blow some cheesey gutter-cock, contract an extra-virulent form of AIDS, and die already. Why delay the inevitable?

I mean, boring! Do you realise how dull it is to undo someone's pants, pull them down, and be faced with such a dull choice of underwear? Yawn. It's one step above white CKs, which is one step above wearing boxers. Actually, I think wearing boxers is preferable to wearing Calvin Klein or 2(x)ist underwear. At least with boxers when you drop their pants, their cock is already in your face. If you wear that kind of shit, it's not like I'm going to be interested in any other part of you, so I may as well have access to your bits all the quicker: those precious moments of underwear-driven foreplay can be gladly skipped, and they can be out of my life that much sooner. Good riddance, ptuh!

And what makes it worse is that people are obviously told through marketing that this particular brand is sexy, when they are just standard white undies that my fucking grandfather wears! They expect people to be impressed by the brand or whatever, and think they are extra-sexy for wearing such a "cool" garment. Like, am I meant to be, like, filled with awe or something because you read DNA Magazine?

And really, what kind of dumbass brand-name is 2(x)ist anyway? Is the brackets-'n'-x thing meant to be the anus between two cheeks or something? Whatever.

Other than that, what a boring-ass weekend. I was meant to study for an exam I have, but that got dull. On a particularly snoozeworthy moment on Saturday afternoon, I totally baked a cake-in-a-box while The Sound of Music was on Showtime Greats (all I need is some big-ass knitting needles and four more cats). Mum and Dad wanted to take me for a drive in the country and lunch at like, a homestead, but I don't do rural. I suppose it could have been more exciting than fucking cooking my arse off, but Liesl was looking extremely boneable as usual.