Ugh, Dawei's house (like, my real house) is currently getting painted. No, no, don't worry, it isn't getting painted a flaming "dusty-pink" as what happened with the renovations to my other house. Anyway, we have a painter here for the next three weeks! My God. How hard is it to paint a fucking house? I think he's dragging it out so he can bump up his fee. I never see him do any work. Just now, after I got out of my shower, he was sitting on the front step talking on the phone. What a lazy git! Not on my watch, pal, back to work for you. I gave him the stink-eye, and now I see he is back to being his usual productive self (wandering around our front yard gathering dropcloths and smoking).

And speaking of the stink-eye, the other day I saw him wandering around inside our house, and I was all "uhm, excuse me Sir, but we are employing you to paint the exterior of the house. So what the fuck are you doing inside? GET BACK TO WORK!" Actually, I didn't say that. I mean, I was going to, and my brain was negotiating with my mouth and tongue the exact amount of condescending snot to use when I noticed he had come out of the bathroom. MY bathroom to be more exact. So I rush down, and yep, he had befouled my bathroom. Like, have you not heard of a match? Opening a window? The fucking EXHAUST fan, maybe? I have like, six highly expensive but awesome smelling "scents" lined up on the bench there, so why not spray one around a bit? Moron. He's probably used to Port-a-Loos which, by the way, he should have got for this job.

I didn't check the porcelain to see if there were remnants; I'm still scarred by last week when I used a pristine toilet in the uni bar, only to return ten minutes later (damn jugs) to find half of it was encrusted with unflushable sludge. I came outside, looked around hands-on-hips and went eye-slitty at the crowd, because I knew one of them had done it. So. DISGUSTING. Fiber, people. Please ignore my last post when you read that tip for healthy bowel movements.

So anyway, I just slammed the lid down, and opened a window, gagging like that twelve inch motherfuckin' Maltese cock I had in Europe was being thrust down my throat. And then I remembered if there was stains I would have to clean it, as mother dismissed our maid! What is WITH the help these days? Isn't anyone reliable? We thought this last girlie was, but apparently not. She was soooo stupid. She, like, wrote a fake reference in my mother's name... and then put the correct details on the reference! So this guy rang up and was all "uhm, did you actually write this reference, as it's kind of crappy," and Mum was all "absolutely not! I don't even know how to use clipart" (true story. Our maid put CLIPART in her fake reference!) Basic Note Forgery 101 says that you put down a fake number, or the number of a friend who can play along with the story. If she had done that, we wouldn't have ever known and she would still have that precious ten dollars a week income coming in.

Ah well, she is a maid after all. I suppose we can't expect her to have much in the way of intelligence or sass. Plenty more where that came from.

Remember, if you have any comments or questions for Dawei, just Ask him!

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posted by Dawei at 11:25 am