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Sunday, June 27, 2004
I think my transformation into Andrew G is complete. Kill me.

Well, I'm not sure if it's Andrew G. But I was walking around the other day, and this horrid woman comes ploughing up to me, grabs me by the arm, and yanks me around. Then she starts yelling at my face, spittle flying, "you're the guy from the TV!". Uhm, no lady. I'm not. Time to take your Clorazil. I mean, I guess she was a bit deranged. She was wearing trackpants, after all. Maybe she was just drunk. At any rate, it was highly embarrassing. I mean, people were starting to turn around to see some celebrity or something, so they were surely going to be disappointed, right? I flicked my eyebrow at her, snotted out a "sorry", and hauled ass out of there. I so need to buy some new sunglasses, so I can be all in cognito and shit.

But how rude! Why couldn't she confuse me with someone, like, hot? I mean, she could have been thinking of someone all smouldering and sexy-eyed, but unfortunately for me I've gotten the ol' "haw haw, you look like that host guy from Australian Idol haw haw" thing far too many times before. I like to think I have better hair though. And nicer teeth. And my face isn't quite so long and horse-y.

Meanwhile, I have to fast from caffeine today, so I am quietly gnawing off my arm. Caffeine Free Diet Coke tastes like a wet asshole.