I think I am growing too old beyond my years. I mean, old people can't hold their piss like spry young whippersnappers, right? Sigh. I am feeling rough today. Stupid alcohol. I used to be pretty good with my alcohol tolerance. Like, I could drink almost anyone under the table, and not bat an eyelid the next day. And this is me being a pretty skinny bitch, too. Even at my thinnest (stupid Europe), I could drink like a local, and then still navigate my way home that night (or the next morning, walk-of-shame-style, ahem). I used to think it was just a left-over effect from being a complete fatass wreck. Like, it was my old body's gift to my new one; it somehow imprinted some behaviour modification thing in my veins so I could forever more remember my bitch-tits and fat rolls with fondness. But last night I was completely fucked and I didn't think I'd had that much to drink. I had about a jug of beer, two stubbies, two more glasses of beer (and they were only like, pots!), and a mojito. I think I can usually drink more than that and not feel all headache-y and bleurgh-y the next day. I had to get the train home (public transport, ick) this morning, and it was foul. Like, don't people clean them anymore? And it was packed as our stupid Ekka is on this week, and today is the public holiday so the train was full of common people from, like, Beenleigh and Logan coming into the "big smoke" for a "fun" day of dagwood dogs and shitty showbags. I think someone on it had stuck a cigarette behind their ear. God.

I think my fucked-ness was caused by the stupid mojito. We were having them at Bowery, so they are really well-made and thus potent. Fucking unbelievably tasty, but fucking hardcore. I like the bartenders there too. Sexy uniforms. The same cannot be said about the sodding Wickham and Beat which we also graced last night. Homosexuals are so... gross. Like, I needed to urinate, but I hate using toilets in clubs (especially 'mo ones). Anyway, this was one of those situations where I couldn't hold it, so I held my breath and went in. The queue was massive, and then finally these two guys came out of the only cubicle, and one was looking most dodgy and was wiping his mouth. EW. How... tacky. Where do you think you are, you disgusting piece of HIV? Like, the local park toilets? I should have just kicked open the door and pissed on them. I bet they would have loved that too, everyone knows homos have fucked up fetishes.

But I feel rather assy. And my parents have decided to toddle off to the beach house on the Gold Coast for the day, so there's no one here to make me lunch. How selfish. I reckon after some nice food I'd be sweet. Actually, I could go some cake. Sigh. Butter sandwich, anyone?

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posted by Dawei at 12:53 pm