Okay, Dawei, step away from the alcohol. Vodka fumes are still wafting out of my pores, and I could have bottled my morning urine and sold it is a particularly vintaged chardonnay. Just like reguarly wine, only musk-y! And slightly brown. Ick.

I had a pretty fun night though. Unfortunately no one cracked onto me, hmph, which was a bit of a shame. I must be losing my touch. Or maybe because I was out with my "hot" friends so my hotness pales in comparison to theirs. Or something. Maybe I'm just a troll. Rats. No, I'm not a troll. People out are just stupid and ugly. Yeah, that's it. And anyway, they probably were giving me all flirt-y eyes and stuff, and I just didn't notice as I was too busy doing shots off the bar and talking to cool people. Yeah, that's it! Okay, I feel much better now.

But meanwhile, when I was in Europe, how come I never went to Norway? Norwegians are hot. I even met a brunette Norwegian, and he was still hot. I thought brown hair was outlawed in Scandinavia along with Negroes? Meh. But yeah, we were at this Norwegian chap's apartment for a little shin-dig, and the entire place was packed full of these tall, well built, blond Vikings. I myself don't usually go for blond men (boring, I could look in the mirror), but these guys were totally God-esque. Damn Europe. I'm sick of Australia. They were all super nice as well, and their English is outstanding.

But do you know which country's people I hate the most? Fucking Romania. I've always wanted to go to Romania for some reason, but I met some Romanians last night and they were utter, utter tools. Like, I'm meant to be impressed that you have relatively good bodies? You're like, five feet tall! And have shaved heads. What's next, combat boots? Aviator sunglasses? Spare me. So I gave them some hardcore eyerolling, as they thought if you weren't born in Europe you weren't worth talking to. Of course then I found out that one of the Romanians had moved to Australia when he was two. Okay, whatever. I'm more European than you, you asshat. I nearly got into a fight with them as well (how butch), because they thought I was dissing their gymnastics team. I mean, everyone knows gymnastics is the only thing Romania has going for it, so you aren't supposed to mess with it. I totally wasn't being rude, I was just asking who had won the Olympic medals this year, as I thought the USA and Japan had won the big ones. But no! These guys have to get all in my face and were totally sounding off about how you do gymnastics from birth and how everyone can do the splits and backflips and blahblahblah and I was all "sheesh get a grip, like I give a shit". And then one of them was all "the only reason the USA does well is because they offered the Romanian coach three (three!) times as much money to go over there!". Well, yeah. Your national currency is bread and beads, I don't blame him for crossing the Atlantic to make a few bucks.

But then I "accidentally" let slip that this guy I was with liked to suck cock, and they got totally aggro. They liked him, as he told them he was Italian (he so isn't, he was born in like, Gympie), and they didn't understand that we were good friends and that's what friends do. Fucking foreigners. So then they were all snottily talking about me and two of these girls in French with some other loser, and I was all "uhm, hi. I can understand you, moron", and totally shut him down. Cunt. And then we all left with these two bigass Tongan wrestlers who were rather nice, if not a bit naive. At least they spoke English.

And now I'm debating the merits of going out again tonight. Stupid Riverfire is on, and everyone is totally creaming themselves. I mean, what's the big? Fireworks? Like they don't find an excuse to bust those out every fortnight. Yawn. But I have two semi-crushes at the moment, so I must find them this weekend and see if they are actually hot or not. Or I could stay home and study for my mid-semesters next week for which I am fucked.

Bah. Too many decisions!

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posted by Dawei at 2:31 pm