Sniff sniff, can you smell something rancid? Like, something dead and decaying? Oh yeah, that's the fucking excitement in my life, which seems to have curled up and died and is now merrily rotting away in my fucking cupboard! Bah! I am so over university. Like, I've been doing so much work lately it's ridiculous. Of course, I am totally dominating the knowledge. Those French theorists are currently sucking my cock, and I'm translating scripts of dialogue so fast my fountain pen is creating whisps of smoke on the paper, and the ink is coming out boiling and bubling. But meh, is it all worth it? I feel as if I've regressed back to Grade Seven Dawei, who was everyone's favourite personable obese nerd. Well, I was a good nerd in that I was a bit of a cheeky cunt and had fun (fat people always have to have good personalities, because no one likes them for their physical characteristics), but still. All I seem to do is do my cunting work and devour food at a phenomenal rate. Like, yesterday, I made a pizza and inhaled the entire thing in about two minutes. And then ate three baggies of Twisties during Neighbours (which I nearly hurled up again, thanks to a most unnecessary character addition of a fucking midget gag). But what's going on? Eating? Eating (unless necessary) is so... common. I should be drinking and smoking or something. Sigh.

Actually, I think eating a bit of food has agreed with me, as my body is looking pretty good at the moment. I would so have the best body in the universe if I actually exercised or became a Fully Qualified Homo and joined a gym. I should take up a hobby that is physically demanding, but still fun and not as tragic as pumping iron. Like... rockclimbing or something. Actually, I really want to do acrobatic training but I can't find anywhere that offers it. Stupid Brisbane. I bet faggot cities like Sydney are teeming with acrobatic classes. Stupid Sydney, thinks it's so smug with its overrated bay and HIV+ population.

Some good news though: my parents jetted down to Melbourne for a week, so they left the house in my care and a couple of credit cards too. Finally! So tomorrow I'm rewarding myself by going on a spending binge. And not a moment too soon, as tomorrow night I'm getting dragged to what seems to be a homosexual block party. Yeah, I don't think I really want to know either.

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posted by Dawei at 2:12 pm