So that refreshing little bout of cleansing diarrhoea I had? Turned out to be fully fucking fledged fucking food poisoning! My cramps are earth shattering, I can barely walk, and ye gads, do not get me started about the stench. Seriously, this has been the worst virus ever. Well, not the worst I guess. I could have, like, AIDS, or something. Or get all vomit-y and stuff. Ick. I suppose in the big picture I'm not doing too badly, but meep. I don't feel so good. Unfortunately, my parents are like Dr Kevorkian, and I'm getting no sympathy. God, it's no wonder they haven't been run out of business, their bedside manner is so appalling. My father was all "I have friends who would pay thousands of dollars for the colonic cleanout you're getting! Pretend you're at a health spa!" I mean, who says that? Really? Okay, I said that, but that doesn't count. I'm stupid, and he's meant to be all trained supportive guy, right? Or at least give me something stronger than fucking paracetamol. BAH.

Plus, no one in the extended family is really giving me any love. My cousin's kid has trumped my pain, as she's about to head off to the big toystore in the sky. She's been pretty much fucked since she was born a couple of years ago, but she just got a whole lot worse this week, and it's pretty clear she's on the way out. Which is sad and stuff, I guess, I'm not totally heartless. But these cramps are really starting to bug. ARGH. Trust selfish kids to get sick right when I need some love and attention. Although if she does kick off, I can probably scam one of my cards back. Funeral shopping is rather bittersweet, but it means I can splash out on some really expensive shit. And man, if I ever needed new clothes it's right now. I feel and look like refried ass. Mum says that if I apply for two jobs, she will reauthorise my cards, but what am I, homeless? I don't have time to scour the street for jobs! GOD. Why is the world out to get me? I'm sick and everything! Fuck that, I'm going back to bed.

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posted by Dawei at 9:56 am