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Thursday, August 19, 2004
This is basically a vanity post to get the complete pain in the arse that is the new Blogger bar thingie out of the way, but really... If I am ever to get anally penetrated, I hope it's this week. My turds have been like, the thickest fucking things I have ever seen. After each turd I feel hollowed out, and walk slightly bow-legged. It's frightening. Pretty much every dick I've seen have been thinner than these logs (except that Maltese guy. Holy. FUCK!) so I reckon taking one for the team right now would be a snap. I could probably stuff one of those bad boy penises up my chute sans lubricant. But somehow I don't think I'll test that hypothesis.

I think that entire carrot cake I made and devoured the other day is trying to help me get laid. It was fiberiffic.