I think I'm dating someone. Well, maybe not dating. Dated, definitely. As in last night I had my first ever date! How... strange. I don't know why I haven't done it before, you get your food and drinks paid for you, and you don't even have to put out. There's a lot of pressure though. Like, you have the sole responsibility of being entertaining and charming and being interested in their life which is a bit intimidating. But we get on quite well, so I really shouldn't be overanalysing things too much already. I suppose it's just weird to have a lot of someone's attention at any one time. It's scary. Stupid Cap Guy.

And also, we still haven't boned. Like, what's the deal? This is getting worse and worse! I go down to his banging apartment on the Gold Coast, we have dinner at this cool restuarant and have "wine" like we are adults or something, and then like, make out in bed in our underwear (sidenote: before I went down yesterday afternoon I did an emergency run to buy hot new underwear just to keep up. See! Pressure!). He wants to "take things slow". Which is good, in a way. But also bad. Like, I'd rather get everything over with already, so he'd know what to expect. Having this air of anticipation and expectation hanging over me isn't making the whole experience stress-free. What if I'm a dud lay (which is bloody unlikely, but you never know, I may have an off-night)? I'm not putting in all these hours to have someone think of me negatively in a sexual sense. Damn Cap Guy and his stupid romance. It is quite nice to have a bit of a sugardaddy. He owns like, five properties and is aiming to retire in five years. Fucking hell. Stupid Cap Guy.

But this no sex thing is driving me crazy. Like, we fool around and stuff for ages, but never... touch each other *cough* intimately. Okay, well, I "accidently" brushed my hand down there a few times, but you know. I reckon my ejaculate has backflushed into my stomach or something, because after both of these long sessions I have stabbing pains near my umbilicus, and my balls are really heavy and sensitive. They are probably about to burst. As things go, I usually produce quite a bit of precum (God, is there a better word for that, that doesn't sound quite so lame?!), but holy fucking shit. It's just like a running tap when I'm with him. Like, we were doing it on his couch and I was fully clothed. When we got up to go to his bedroom, I noticed like, a palm-sized wet patch on the front of my jeans. And I was wearing pretty dark jeans! Stupid taking things slow. So as soon as I get home, I have to "reduce" the pressure. At first I didn't want to, as I figured I could bone him any day now so I'd like to have an impressive payout if you know what I mean. But sheesh. Both times now I could barely walk after these all-night buildups. So I do my thing, right, and anyway, I could fill a pint glass. Actually, I don't think I could. You know how when garden hoses get all kinky, and then you turn on the water and they start thrashing around like snakes and the water jets out everwhere? That would be how my penis has been acting lately. So much volume going everywhere. I would giggle at my mess if it wasn't a. so gross, and b. didn't feel like I had just shot out my vas deferens. Stupid Cap Guy.

Meanwhile, he says he's pretty much a total top and his arse is "really tight". I snorted and told him he hadn't yet come into contact with my ring of steel, and I certainly would not be all Mr Bottom Man and he was all eyebrow raise-y. When he was in the bathroom I snooped through his bedside drawers, and found the biggest bottle of lube I've ever seen in my life. My anus spontaneously contracted. But I think he's circumcised, so maybe he uses it when he wanks. Stupid Cap Guy!

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posted by Dawei at 1:10 pm