The election? Football Grand Final? Bush vs. Kerry? Who cares! Stop the presses, Dawei made the Sydney Morning Herald! Whee! Well, okay, the presses have clearly been already stopped and re-started but y'know. But sweetie, it's "Dawei's House of Debauchery and Bee-yotching", not fucking "Dewei". Sheesh. It's called research, hon. If you want to join the cigar smokers in the big league, you are going to have to be a little more professional, don't you think?

But anyway, how cool. Dawei exposed to a mass audience. I'm sort of like HIV, except without the lesions and swollen bellies and death and stuff. Well, my belly was a bit swollen, because Cap Guy and I seriously chowed down on a big ass meal on the Coast the other night. It was pretty good, but the best part was the waiter totally hit on me. He was checking me out all night, and then when Cap Guy went up to pay he was all "are you two a couple?" and then wanted to give us his number anyway. Ew! Do we look like those horribly odious "open relationship" faggots or something? Get real. Firstly, open relationships are for people with low self esteem who need to continually validate their self-worth and their attractiveness to others by constantly having a different cock up their loose, saggy arse, and secondly, as if I'd fuck the Help no matter what my relationship status.

He was kind of cute though, in that skater-y, naïve waiter sort of way. Nah. I'm a swing voter, not a swinger! (boom boom! Eyeroll. Dawei, stick to blogging about the "underbelly of gay nightlife", and not politics. Although don't worry Darp, I don't think I'll vote for the Libs this time. My member is too ugly.).

But yeah, my "relationship" (my hands still break into a sweat when I say that) is going quite well. I still do feel bad about how much he spends on me, but I try to pay for what I can, and he lets me which is good. Of course then he goes and smokes me by treating me to expensive dinners and Dolce and Gabbana. Sigh. It's a hard life, yo. I do try to pay him back though. Like, yesterday I shaved my balls, Darp-style. Not that there was a lot to shave y'know, one of the benefits of being blond. And I think he wants me to wear... leather underwear. Eek. I'll have to think about that one. Maybe after he buys me something really good.

Oh, PS -- New Yorkers, Dawei will probably soon be amongst your fold, rocking Manhattan in March! Woo! (Crap, will have to wear leather underwear. Thankfully New York should be cool at that time of year, I won't have much butt-sweat.)

PPS -- thanks for the shoutouts Darp and Sam. I wouldn't be here without you guys. Mwah!

PPPS -- Haha, Ruth. Both blogs dissed!

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posted by Dawei at 10:38 am