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Monday, January 03, 2005
Well, I'm back in Brisbane after a week in Sydney and a couple of days at our beach house on the Gold Coast. Stupid Queensland, why are you so fucking hot? I don't want to ever hear any more bitching from you wussy Sydney cunts. You don't know what heat is. Of course, I think I was there for the coldest Summer ever, but you know. Your humidity levels are at like, 0%! I remember when Ms Hairy Legs would bitch to me about getting butt-sweat on the bus, but now I have no sympathy. Brisbane weather is fucking boiling and the air is wetter than a virgin's pink lace panties.

So yeah, I'm thinking of moving to Sydney for the weather alone. It does have some other stuff on the Vegas I guess. Liiiiike... uhm... oh! Your cops wear combat boots. I thought that was pretty cool. Do Queensland cops do that? I don't know. What else did Sydney have? Uhm... food is way cheaper down there. The W is a nice hotel. Uhm. I dunno. I reckon I'll have to go down there again. I mean, I pretty much stayed in the same area. Well, we stayed in the Bay-y areas, and walked around a lot. I walked to fucking Newtown from like, Paddington which I was pretty pleased with (Newtown = yawn though. It's like Brunswick Street, only with lamer shops and uglier people).

I was hoping to get in some hardcore shopping, but I think I need a guide or something. I always had my eyes peeled for cool boutique-y type shops that have stuff no one else wears, but I wasn't too successful. What's with the Marcs and Industrie shops? People still wear that shit down there? How embarrassing for you. I guess the boutique-y places are in, like, the backstreets a bit. Perhaps I should have gotten a bit more organised and asked around for some advice or something. Although, I did have some fun going around to some of the chain stores, I guess. I spent an afternoon in Louis Vuitton trying on shoes which gave me this big dripping boner. Goddamn they are some fuckoff shoes. We did find some cool bars as well though, and had some outstanding cocktails. Mmmmlemongrass martinis.

Didn't do much in the way of homo-stuff, which suited me fine. I think the only homo place I went was the Columbian for afternoon beers which wasn't too bad (I thought of you, Darp! Didn't you used to work there?). I was a bit disappointed to not see any syringes in the gutter, or like, people having unprotected anal sex right on the street, but I did see a prepubescent rent-boy chilling on the Wall for his next client/hit which was cool. He even lit a cigarette as he casually leant against it which was so perfect in that clich├ęd way. If I had taken photos, that would have been a nice shot. Well, not in the dirty wank way, but in the reminding me of seedy Sydney way. You know.

In bad news I had a huge falling out with a few of my friends, so now I have no friends left. But I figure there are plenty more where they come from, right? Fucking rude-ass cunts. Also: never travel with friends. I now realise how lucky I was to travel by myself through Europe last year. Dicks. Ah well. Maybe I should move to Sydney? I have nothing much here anymore. Surely I could get a fuck-off job in Sydney? And your David Jones stocks Costume National and Helmut Lang! I am so there.

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