I HAVE A JOB!!!

Well, I don't really. Mother has dismissed our, like, fifty-third maid, but instead of going through the "tedious" routine of organising the help from a maid agency and training the new girl, she's decided to bless me with the responsibilities of domestic cleanliness. FUN! I like it how she makes it seem like such an ordeal to get a new maid, when I'm the one who has to show her where the dumb vacuum is, and how to change the bag (like I know? Stupid non-Dyson machine), and where the toilet scraping things are. Shudder. But yeah, I cleaned our house yesterday, and it took me all fucking day! I'm so totally blue-collared. I didn't realise it was so hard doing housework! Like, it took me about twenty minutes to clean one of the bathrooms alone, and I didn't even do a hugely great job. Like, I can pretend to be a maid and stuff, but there's no way I'm touching that toilet scraper thing. So I just lifted the lid, squirted some Domestos from a distance, gagged, and flushed.

Stupid maid leaving. She wanted to be paid cash, but my mother was all "absolutely not! I'm not paying you cash so you can claim to the government you have no wage for more handouts! Smell you later, wretch." Well, she didn't quite say it like that, my mother isn't completely rude. But I mean, she gave me like, eighty in cash yesterday for my efforts, so I don't know why she was averse to giving her cash. Perhaps it's just the principle of it all? Eh, who knows?

I guess I shouldn't complain. If I do that and the mowing every week, that should keep me in coffee and alcohol until I find real employment (it won't buy the Dior bag I want for uni though, hmmph). I don't know why it's so hard for me to find work. Employment is like, nothing, I'm smart and cute. Most people I see working at places I want to work don't even have one. Well, I'm not so cute at the moment, as I've realised that my hair is exactly like that faggot from Australian Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. The ugly one with the bags. EEEEEEECCCCHHHH!!! Don't worry, I've immediately made moves to get an appointment to have it rectified. Unfortunately I've decided to change hair places again, and this new guy costs twice as much and is impossible to get into. A bit like when I'm required to bottom.

Hilarious.

I so need a job.

|

posted by Dawei at 10:24 am