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Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Happy ANZAC Day, everyone! Woot! Party! I hope y'all had a blast... marching. Or wearing Akubra hats with corks. Or going to that flame thing at dawn. Do people still do that? The last time I did something vaguely ANZAC-y was sitting on a football field in primary school having to endure a barrage of speeches from the principal and local members of government, before we all had to do a military march in "respect" (although it was a competition between the houses for the best "march", so I'm not sure how respectful that is). Or something. I'm not too up on my ANZAC Day traditions. I prefer public holidays like Australia Day (mmmBBQandbeer), Queen's Birthday (mmmirrelevenceandbeer), or the Melbourne Cup (mmmMoëtandgambling). That last one gets a bonus too, as it's not really a public holiday, so I get that added thrill of feeling really naughty taking the day off to drink expensive champagne and gamble. But really, it totally should be a holiday! Why does Melbourne get all the fun? Stupid Queensland. But yeah. I mean, we already have Rememberence Day, and they make us take a "minute of silence" then so I reckon they are just being greedy getting another War-related holiday. I reckon those old codgers just like the attention and bits of confetti thrown at them, because for the rest of the year they are stuck in a nursing home being spoon fed stewed apples and puréed liver. Although I think they're all dead now, so who knows.

Clearly people don't really agree with me though, as some dude made a vague attempt at humour by posting a diss on ANZAC Day, and people jumped down his throat! I guess "Diggers" and Bert Newton are Untouchables in this country. Poor love, rookie error. Sure, not the cleverest or most witty of ironic posts, but you have to applaud his use of spam marketing. That's what the House needs I reckon to kick it into overdrive.


I spent the day drinking alcohol on the Gold Coast... which is basically all I ever do on my weekends. The public holiday just meant that my breakfast was ridiculously expensive with a 15%+ surcharge on already rampant Gold Coast prices, and the traffic was unbearable. I had a pretty good time though. We had drinks and dinner with Cap Guy's family, which went pretty well. I chatted about Switzerland and languages with his father, her new Chanel with his mother, and souping up cars with his brothers. Aren't I the versatile social person! And speaking of versatile... I got into a little anal trouble the other day. Thankfully the anus in question wasn't mine, but I still felt bad. I was... you know, doing some inserting of the... digital variety, when stupid Cap Guy rolled around causing sharp pain to my wrist. So I slide my thumb out and he was all "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!". Baby. It can't have hurt THAT much, as it wasn't as if I was sticking it up there dry, and he would have stretched by that stage and really, surely his turds are wider than my thumb? And I'd even taken off my thumb ring for him! He seemed okay after a while, and we finished things off very nicely indeed, but I still felt bad. Sigh.

Memo to self: book manicure this week.