Ok, so maybe I overreacted with the whole blurting out of my Cap Guy query... but that's martinis for you. I should explain (a big "awww!" and many "mwah!"s to my supporters who offered their support. For those who didn't, well, fuck you). I don't really have anything that you would call "evidence" or "proof", but I do have an annoying little tingle telling me something is off. And speaking of annoying tingles, my mother asked if I had an STD today because I told her that I'm having a repeated stabbing pain in my abdomen, and she noted yesterday that I had to keep getting up to piss. But I assured her that it didn't hurt to perform said piss, and it wasn't cloudy or bloody, and the pain is just a sharp stabbing thing in my colon-y area... so now she probably thinks I have a torn large intestine or something from a particularly deep thrust. Great!

But back to my instincts humming... something just seems a bit off. I suppose he's never been very affectionate or like, (gag) romantic, but it seems even lately more so. I think we've done it like, once in the past month???!! And I know he's usually a bit of a horny bugger. Oh, and he's always getting text messages and phone calls. I hate to play the role of the paranoid, obsessive bitch but it's starting to make me curious.

...

Okay, correct that, I am a paranoid obsessive bitch, so I already went through his phone when he was in the shower when I was pretending to be asleep. And he has like, pictures of penises on it! Like, that aren't mine! And some are definitely not his. Sigh. I think they are from his ex, as he also has some pictures of his face and body and stuff, and I know what he looks like. And just to make things worse he's Swedish so he's buff and hot. Sniff. So what's going on? Is it acceptable to be getting (and storing!) photos of the ex's cock on his phone? What's all that about? And is he doing it with anyone else? And while I don't think he's actually shagging anyone else, is it only inevitable? Harmless fun? Ugh. And it's not as if I can talk to him about it, as I don't want to seem like the type to rifle through someone's phone... although clearly I am, and for good cause! Sigh. Relationships are hard, yo.

But on to better news. I got the job... but it isn't much of a job. It's like one afternoon a week, and basically work experience. Yawn. I'm still shitting myself anyway, and my boss seems like a real bitch. Like, don't patronise me, mole, I could do your job with my eyes closed and two hands up my twat. Cunt. But yeah, it starts tomorrow which I'm not looking forward to. Like, my hair is asstacular, because I'm fresh-out of styling shit, and I have like, a ingrown-y hair type small pimple thing. Which you can't really see, except my hand keeps flying up to check to see if it's dying down every five minutes so my chin is all red. I'll just say I have pash-rash or something. SIGH. I already hate work. HOW CAN YOU ALL DO IT EVERY DAY?!?!

Oh, and because I'm lazy, a total jim, and I'm bored, and there's no way I'm going to watch lame-ass State of Origin tonight, here is me all superhero-ied:




Okay, it doesn't look that much like me. I'm not He-Man brown, but they didn't have a Prince Adam-esque shade. And I haven't smoked for aaaaages, but it's been one of those weeks and I really want one. And my hair is way more wild than that, because I am sans-GHD at the moment. And my hair colour isn't really bronze but... well, you get the idea. I do however have a pair of totally bitching extreme pointy-toed shoes that I bought last week. So it sort of looks like me.

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posted by Dawei at 8:28 pm