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Sunday, September 18, 2005
Y'all would be proud of me. I totally bottomed like a bitch last night! Well, not a complete bitch. He got like, the head and a bit of shaft in, but I was pretty pleased with myself and stuff. And Cap Guy's dick is, like, BIG, y'all. I woke up this morning, and he had a piss-hardon (he usually wakes me up by slapping it on my thigh and holding it up with two hands for maximum impact saying "look, Dawei, I need to peeeee!"), and I thought "oh crikey, that's been in me!" (well, maybe a third). And then I got a little freaked out and had to watched Video Hits.

I so don't get bottoming. Like, is it meant to feel good? Granted I was pissed out of my mind, and it wasn't really working so he pulled out and we continued business as usual, but yeah. Isn't it meant to be mind-blowing? It just feels... ew. And when the wet dick slides out of you like a freakishly hard, slick shit.... EWWWWW! Maybe if we had gotten to some hardcore in-out thrusting it would have been better. All I have now is the cringe of embarrassment, and a bloody sore ring. And when I say "bloody sore" I mean like, literally. This morning I had to check the sheets to make sure there had been no seepage overnight, and I can't wipe my arse very thoroughly now. Which, like, sucks, as I need to be completely clean down there.

God, how do you queens do it?!

In non-bottoming news, I hope you all did not watch Sigrid Thorton in "Powerful" Australian Movie of the Week. Bitch is such a douche. Like, in every interview she's all "acting is such a CRAFT, I become the character, it is such a creative process, blahblah". Like, because you shaved your head we are meant to forget that you sold out to Nature's Own to whore fucking vitamins? Fuck you. And remember when she got her tired old labia out for The Blue Room? Gag. Honey, you are no Nicole Kidman. Bitch is theatrical Ipecac.