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Monday, October 03, 2005
I'm going to be really daggy, but I don't care! I have to do a quick Australian Idol comment: STUPID ROXANE! WHY SING CHRISTINA, FO'?! NO ONE CAN SING CHRISTINA! NOW THE ONLY GIRLS LEFT IN THE COMPETITION IS A FUCKING MAN, A DYKE, AND A SCARY-ASS BEEYOTCH FROM INALA!! Well, I quite like Inala-chick too, but come on! Sigh. Stupid Idol. Losing Dicko was bad enough, and what with all the staged shit that's been going on lately (water throwing, walking-out-ness, the actual Top 13) it's really starting to bug. And Roxane had a cool voice. Sure it was a bit freaky, but much more interesting than that boring Christian slut Anne and her Ballads of Doom (and while I'm on the subject, honey, don't pull that faux-attitude shit on me, slut. I know you come from the Guy Sebastian school of God-bothering and hymn-trilling. False bitch). Hey Roxie, why don't you come over and chill at my place? We can go shoe shopping at Prada, have cocktails and chat in French, then you can take me over to Mauritius to stay at your family's beach-side bungalow. You'll be a'ight.

And now back to regular, Dawei-esque, non-infringing-on-CultureStrain-territory, posts: HOT DAWEI SEX!!! Well, okay, it's not sex per se. And really really really not hot. But I thought I'd share, as I can't really talk to my friends about it. I mean, okay, I don't really have that many friends anyway (hey, it's their loss! Like they should be surprised to discover I'm a moody, cunty beeyotch?). But it's always much easier talking to my fake computer friends about some such things. I was just really embarrassed, as on Saturday night while I was, uhm, cumming, I accidentally farted. Which was completely mortifying, as I was like, perched on Cap Guy's thighs. Thankfully I had raised my lower body up a bit to explode ejaculate on him so I don't think he felt the vibration, but gah!! At least the smell of salty-sweet semen covered any scent. But how embarrassing! And he hadn't even... explored anywhere near that region, so don't go thinking I'm all loose and shit down there. And it wasn't even a like, suction-y manfanny-fart. I don't know what that was all about. Stupid body. I didn't expect to lose control of my bodily functions until at least my seventies (that is if I haven't caught the bug or some horrid gay illness by then, sigh).