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Wednesday, December 21, 2005
So the good news is I'm back from my tiny trip to Sydney without dying in a plane crash, being swept away with a drunken mob on a beach chasing "Lebs", or getting Giardia from the water. Does Sydney still have Giardia? I played it safe and drank bottled water like I was in Mumbai, but you know. I still risked it by taking showers, etc. I'm such the seasoned traveller.

But the bad news is I think I'm becoming more and more charmed by your little town. I think I might become one of those odious Queenslanders who defect down south! Of course, ninety percent of the relocators are conquered by the mighty Harbour City, and return within twelve months with their (cheap) backpacks haphazardly stuffed with their Industrie and 2(x)ist, bleating an excuse like "I prefer the warmer climate". Ha, no one is fooled, wimp. Everyone knows you were chewed up and spat out like a cum-wad at a felching club on Oxford Street.

Sydney is so nice, I think. The weather is like, brilliant. Like, here in Brisbane you wouldn't even dream of wearing long pants during the day (except for like, three weeks in winter). But the week before Christmas I was happily strutting all over Sydney in my hot-ass pants. Crazy! Like, your humidity is about a third of hours. I just couldn't get over it. You lucky dogs. And, like, your coffee is reasonably priced. Actually, I found everything was rather reasonable. I don't know who goes to Sydney and bitches about how expensive it is. I mean, obviously Sydney has more high-end restaurants and shit than most places in Australia, but even those places are still quite comparable to similar restaurants over the country. I think most Australians are just plebs, and get swindled tourist-style by a shitty restaurant which has "water" view, and little else to back it up. Savvy-free idiots.

Oh, and hello, terrace houses! Cap Guy and I saw some HOT ones around the place. Sigh. I could really smack one of those places into shape. Now I just need to find a bad-ass job done there and I'll be set.

So yeah, Cap Guy and I had a pretty awesome time. We hit up the big gun clothes-y places Queensland is a bit lacking in (speaking of which, Chanel, what is with the Lindsay Lohan thing? Seriously? Ugh. You suck, Lagerfeld. I can forgive you for your scary finger-glove ring thingies. But first Kidman, and now Lohan? Suck!). We also poofed it up in some furniture design-y places, and devoured a lot of decent food and alcoholic beverages in some cool places. Sigh. Stupid Sydney, melting my icy attitude to our nation's "capital".

Of course, not everything went to plan. We had a charming hooker/junkie inject herself in the gutter across the street from the hotel which was... well, I didn't really care about that. But ever since then I was a bit paranoid that I had stood on a needle, as I had a really sore spot in one distinct area of my foot. Of course, stupid Cap Guy said my feet weren't used to walking and I just had a blister. How hilarious. But speaking of, Sydney? Has far too many hills. And also, I didn't really do very well on the whole gift-buying thing for others. Sigh, stupid Christmas. And even flying QANTAS, I still got a little creeped out by the whole flying thing. I'm such a wuss when it gets to planes. I don't know when that happened, I never used to care. Meh.

But overall -- good! Back in Brisbane now, which sucks as it's fucking hot again. Le sigh. I suppose now I can look for a high-paying glamourous job to get me down there again. Or at least plane tickets to Melbourne so I can compare and contrast. For research, of course.