So as promised I dragged myself to uni yesterday (but only as I had a meeting with my supervisor. Otherwise I'm sure daytime TV and indulgent shopping expeditions would have kept me away from campus). But I'm so glad I went! I like, totally fell in love. He was this absolutely beautiful boy, and I walked behind him as we ascended a hill. Despite the heat and humidity of pre-rain Brisbane, I was momentarily in heaven. Calf muscles flexing as his long, brown legs pumped up the incline; a perfect pert rounded arse twinkling enticingly, almost begging for some attention; the muscles of his back and broad shoulders rippled as he carried his books... guh. It took all I had to not push him into a bush and have my filthy, perverted way with him.

I bet he was totally fag-esque too. Unfortunately I wasn't sure, otherwise I would have been more adventurous and forthright. Instead of merely following him up the hill (and no, I wasn't stalking, I was heading in that direction anyway I swear!) I would have... I don't know. Pulled some subtle Dawei moves, like... uhm... pretending to be a foreign student and asking where some building was or some shit. But he was one of those annoying fringe types who you can never be sure about. I had to mentally compile a list!

HETEROSEXUAL

Did not have a man-bag, but instead carried his multitude of books under his arm, (inferior) private school boy style.

Cross necklace around the neck.

Unfortunate striped polo shirt and ugly-ass camouflage print shorts.

No sunglasses (if sunglasses are present, they must be Oakley or... that brand which has the lightening bolt to pass the heterosexual test).

Leg hair not even attempted to be groomed (thankfully it wasn't black, barf).

Those horrible thongs you buy in surf shops with the curly-ish surface.


HOMOSEXUAL

Beautiful flippy fringe, which had one or two subtle blond highlights to add texture. A bit gay, but elegant.

Full, suckible, pouty lips. Totally gay.

The cross necklace was not only made out of nickel (gay), but it was thick and quite chunky, so it was more of a style statement (GAY). Also, it wasn't one of those hideously tacky ghetto-style crosses, so he was being slightly unique (very GAY).

Was wearing a ring.

White belt with metal stuck-on bits. Ick. And very, very gay.

Was too good looking to be heterosexual.

Bitchy, cranky attitude. Swoon.

Knowing my luck he was heterosexual, but it's not as if I would have done anything really. I am a good, faithful boy afterall*, sigh. But yes. Perhaps it is a sign of attractive things to come? The attractive levels of uni has sky-rocketed in the past few years, now that like, 80% of campus are Scandinavian.









* Also, the books he was carrying were for some Botany subject -- EW. I'm done with paupers, thanks. Also, he got into a shitty car, which clearly had no air-conditioning as he drove off with the windows down. Uhm, thanks, but no thanks.

|

posted by Dawei at 10:08 am