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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Wow, David is "the gay one" on Big Brother? Like, really? No! I just simply don't believe it!

Eyes? Be a-rollin'. David is clearly a poof, and I don't really know why everyone keeps adding "secret" to his sexuality status. Like, how is it possibly a secret? I know I immediately spotted it from his face shot in Sunday's paper (he has gayface -- obviously why he never made it as a model). But look at these identifiable features from the above photo:

1. Cowboy hat.
2. Big, capped-tooth grin.
3. Gay eye-crinkles.
4. "Ironic" use of blue singlet.
5. Blow-dried, luscious long hair.
6. Unfortunate looking, obviously gay friend with bad foils.

While I must give David some props for appearing to not be enjoying the company of unfortunate looking, bad foiled, obviously gay friend, his sexuality really, really, isn't that much of a secret. And anyway, why is it a secret? Is it meant to be shocking that not all hommasessuals speak with a lisp? Or are the BB producers planning on milking some Brokeback Mountain tie-ins? Because really, it would have been much more shocking if gay-David had gone into the house just being gay-David, and then no one would have cared and it wouldn't be a big deal, and that would be much more interesting and classy. Idiot producers. But what should I expect when the "World First" was a mother-daughter relationship which

a. isn't that much different from last year's identical twins,
and b. is completely STUPID and LAME. Like, next year's world first? Housemate A is Latin teacher! If the housemates don't pick it in ten days of conjunction lessons, she gets a week-free of nominations!

Meh. Also, I don't find David that hot. I find it a bit creepy that poofs seem to be drooling all over him. Like, if you like men who don't lisp, STOP TALKING WITH A LISP, AND THEN THERE'D BE MORE TO GO AROUND!!! Stupid faggots. I suppose it must be hard to meet nice fags when the majority of one's social interaction is based around a public bathroom.

PS -- I guess I'd do David, but that's not the point. At least he'd like, want to do me to.