Do you know what I hate? I mean, other than girls who wear polo shirts (like, do you want to like like a completely stubby asshole? God. Go back to your second tier private school like, now)? Fucking "World's Greatest Shave" weekend. Like, who green lit this monstrous fundraiser? Like, the whole idea is quite grotesque on many levels.

Firstly, I was walking with mother through the glorious (note sarcasm) shopping centre of Indooroopilly -- Tarocash, yd, and Roger David, oh my! -- and there was this huge multi-levelled stage. People were like, lining up to get ritually shaved down by some unattractive Jon le Court-types. Like, gross. They were blaring some quite nauseating "rock" music, and one woman was like, sweeping up the hair debris. It was quite chilling. And, can I just point out, the Jon le Court-types didn't have shaved heads. NICE EXAMPLE, DICKHEADS. And, like, who would want to get shaved in public? And they all looked hideous. I don't think anyone looks good with a shaved head; I'm quite sure the cancer research doesn't benefit from turning Australian youths into nothing more than low class thugs.

Which brings me to my second point. If you think the idea of shaving is more for empathy and symbolism, why do they have to make it so fun and hilarious? The guys were like "haw haw me bald haw haw". The people who go through chemo and stuff have like, no choice, and their hair doesn't grow back for ages. Also, they don't get to keep any hair, so just shaving down to a number two or whatever is cheating, pointless, and just hideous. At least if you have chemo you have a good excuse to wear flamboyant Chanel scarves and a multitude of hats at jaunty angles, etc.

And thirdly, what is up with people colouring their hair? Like, too cool to shave? What's the point? Exactly how is that a burden, or showing your sympathy and compassion? If I had cancer and was going through chemotherapy, I would spit on anyone who coloured their hair with orange polka-dots. Like, the paint would have cost more than their pathetic gold coin contribution. For fucks sake, that's worse than people who give up "chocolate" or "their mobile phone" for the 40 Hour Famine!

The whole thing was much too grim. Mother and I looked at each other and hauled ass in the other direction. But it did remind me that I have to confirm my hair appointment on Friday. I donate eighty bucks a fucking month to my haircut, so I reckon that's bloody enough.

PS -- I reckon the "World's Greatest Shave" would be a lot more interesting, and useful, if people used the weekend to get rid of their like, body hair and stuff. At least that would be beautifying the nation a bit. Well, I don't mean bald, but you know. One step at a time.

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posted by Dawei at 6:24 pm