Urk, graduation is looming, people. Which you know, means that the Big Bad World will soon be upon me. I'll have to, like, start shaving every morning and read the newspaper and catch public transport and wear a felt hat with a ticket stuck in its band and pay tax (or pay an accountant to pay my tax, as normal people do). Sigh. Actually, I'm not too sad to kiss uni goodbye; I'm seriously drained. But the real depressing thing will be doing the ol' job-hunting routine, which I can already tell will be most irritating. My stupid cousin, who will be graduating at the same time as me, has already received five kick-ass job offers. Of course, she did two infinitely more useful degrees, and is like, nice and stuff, so it's not very surprising. And knowing me the stupid Nazis at school won't let me graduate as I haven't fulfilled some lame requirement, or they won't give me credit for some subject I kicked ass in. Harrumph.

But yes, job-hunting. If any of you see a job that would suit me, let me know. I'd like some job where I can flick through ads in glossy magazines while wearing Christian Dior suits and the Dolce and Gabbana reading glasses I saw which I will buy when my eyes finally decide to be less than perfect. Or like, I could totally write hilarious captions in a tacky magazine. But I don't want to have to work like, too much. My Ideal Future Self travels frequently, studies foreign languages to show off, and has enough free time for cocktails and making jams. So if a job like that pops up, let me know. I'm not against relocating... in fact, I'd most welcome it. The further away, the better.

Actually, my father told me I should go work in America for a while. I think I said that before, but I don't really have the energy to troll through my archives. He's all international at the moment, and is thinking of moving to the UK for six months, as he has a new bad-ass job. AND my parents said they did agree to send me to Leiden for uni, which is a blatant lie. I think they quite relish in making my life as uncomfortable as possible, while depriving me of many life experiences and opportunities. Like, if they agreed that I could be all international student-y, why would I be wasting away in stupid Australia? Now it's too late, and I'll have to get a job here, start paying back my HECS debt and edge closer to death. Well, I don't have a HECS debt, but I really can't see myself being happy in the workforce.

Do you think if I open up Seek.com, there will be a serendipitous job advertisement for a professional magazine reader?

PS -- I can ejaculate much further than Cap Guy. He comes in like, short, yawning arcs, while I'm all "splatter sploop kablammo". Don't worry for the abrupt change in topic, curious minds wished to know.

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posted by Dawei at 4:59 pm