Do you know what would look ace? These three thousand dollar sheets by Fendi on my two hundred dollar bed by Ikea. Mmmm, witty-home-design.



I'm so totally feeling the crocodile-y-ness, and they would totally match my shoes. Unfortunately they wouldn't match the crappy bruise-y colour of my bedroom, so that would need to be fixed. But I'm so going to, like, make my bedroom nice these holidays. But why am I fantasising about my lame home décor when:

a. I still have a pile of articles to get through, let alone my other two assignments, and
b. I should be fantasising about something like, good (and less tragically flamboyant) like... I don't know. Cars. Or, uhm. Gallons of beer and tapping many asses, etc.

But those sheets are very nice. Any wealthy American-types willing to send them over? I doubt crappy Australia has cracked on to the whole Fendi Home thing. We seem to have a lot of Ralph Lauren Home which is, like, so *puke*.

Meanwhile, I was on a "lunch" break just before, and I just happened to catch a bit of Oprah. I haven't seen Oprah for, like, ages, and when did she, like, straighten her hair? Because that? Is, like, totally not a good look on her. The big afro-pride thing worked, but the flippy hair looks kinda mong. But anyway, she had this chick on who was living beyond her means, and was trying to be like Jessica Simpson or something. How embarrassing for her. She was getting whooped by Oprah and that scary psychologist chick for not being "her true self" and hiding behind expensive clothes and bags and shit. But I felt kinda sorry for her. She was clearly a nobody, and man was she fugly. Even if she was wearing Balenciaga she would still look quite plebeian. I don't really get how people were "fooled" into thinking she was, like, rich and stylish. She was quite cringe-worthy. But don't you just hate people who try to, like, emulate superior people? Like, people walking around the street with their (usually fake) Louis Vuitton. How embarrassing. Usually it's that tacky multicoloured one or that ultra-hideous cherry thing. Ick. I feel like going up to them and just saying "Oh my. Your cheap, dated bag makes you look quite pathetic, especially paired with your fake-ass Chanel sunglasses and unattractive boyfriend". See, I feel like I'm justified in being all superior to them, as I know I have a more expensive (and bigger) Louis Vuitton bag at home. But that's just basic economics!