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Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Some bad news this week: it turns out that my dog has throat cancer and is to be put down on Friday. Sigh. I don't know how people can have pets! They are so fucking heart breaking and annoying.

I was handling myself quite well until I had tea with my grandmother and completely lost it. I could only picture his triangular ears which would poke up when I would get home from school, and the thumpy sound his tail makes against the glass door he likes to lean on. And now he whimpers when he eats, and shudders, and he's like, totally mentally checked out. He's just a shell, really, so I suppose it's a good thing that he's being put to sleep. He's only 10 though, so he's not THAT old. Ugh, I'm never having a pet again.

So I've been quietly crying to myself on and off today, which is quite exhausting. I've discovered I look quite fetching when I cry. I don't think I've really had tears for like, years. But my eyes seem to get a lot paler and they glisten, and the redness and puffiness looks quite cute as well. Sigh. Okay, I'm looking for positives in the death of my dog! That doesn't make me a bad person, does it?