Dear Darren Hayes,

Wow, I'm, like, totally shocked.

Although, you could have like, come out years ago -- even before your relationship started -- when everyone like, already knew, and cared who you were. Now it's just all like, "how pathetic" that you had to lie and hide an aspect of your personality that you are now so supposedly proud of. Not that I'm particularly gay-political, but come on. Remember that DNA photoshoot and BLOND hair? Yeah. You should have just done it then.

I'm forwarding this post to Ian Thorpe already. I don't want to have to read in some Dutch paper that he's had a wedding ceremony in the Hague complete with dyke page boys and a tranny flower girl wearing a fairy costume made from leather and chicken bones.

Good luck in your marriage, I hope to see you at the Inala RSL again soon,

Love and (platonic) kisses,

Dawei & the Rest of the Entire Universe Who Has Eyes and Ears.