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Bent My Wookie
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The Spin Starts Here
The Superficial
Treading Water 101
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Black People Love Us
Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay
Sexy Losers
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Television Without Pity
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White Ninja Comics




Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Gee, thanks for all those heartfelt emails and telephone calls asking if I was okay. There was like, that massive crash on the M1 between Brisbane and the Gold Coast -- a stretch of road I somehow manage to travel on, like, fifty times a week -- and not one note of concern! Hmmph. How rude. As a matter of fact, I WAS involved in that accident. Not in the sense of being hurt or crushed or even seeing the wreckage, but I was stuck on the highway for FOUR CUNTING HOURS. Like (for Queenslanders), you know that spot where the highway turns to 110? And then five minutes down the road is that bigass BP petrol hub? Yeah. Four hours to get there! I actually had to relieve myself in my car. I had to pee. IN MY CAR. Thankfully I had a bottle, a plastic bag, and a couple of old tshirts. Oh, and I am, like, a cracking shot. But yeah, if any of you happened to be in one of the four cars directly next to mine, I hope you enjoyed the show. But only if you are into watersports, I guess. Sigh.

Oh, and while I'm at it, Sam, you cunt, you totally stole my beard joke. I had written a quite hilarious Thorpe-post, but I stupidly saved it as a draft instead of publishing it. Guh, you have to be quick in this industry.