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Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Do you know what is really annoying about staying on the Gold Coast for half the week? I can't IMMEDIATELY blog when something really cunts me the hell off. And yes, that does sound incredibly nerdish, but I don't care. Blogging forever!

I know I'm really late here, and everyone has probably already covered it inch by nauseating inch -- I haven't even read CultureStrain yet, because I just know my freaky mind-meld homo friend will have spewed some bile in this very direction and I don't want to seem like a copycat -- but David from Big Brother? DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!

Well, firstly I must give a hearty congratulations to the Big Brother voting system which FINALLY managed to evict this annoying, faux-boganed faggot. Does anyone else totally agree that David would have been gone WEEKS ago except for that blasted "to save" shit? Fucking hell. Although then I would have been subjected to that absolutely sickening display of "love" on stage even earlier, and I still might be struggling to shake off my malaise. Although being put off food for so long, I would surely fit into some nice 28 inch shorts for Spring, but there's always hope for Summer, I guess.

Just... ick. Yes, David is gay. He only talked about it like, five million times a week. He was always talked about in the media as "gay David" or the "gay farmer". He told us on Up Late/Adults Only that he's only sucked off two guys and he loved to swallow both their cum (HA! Such lies. Well, not the enjoying part). Why did Big Brother have to make such a big fucking deal out of it? Like, did any other contestants get to have their significant others ran at them through the audience, arms outstretched like a really gay Gone with the Wind? To their "song"? Which happened to be -- seriously -- "Summer Rain" by Belinda Carlisle? Performed by what sounded like one of the drunk Aboriginals outside the Fortitude Valley train station rubbing a broken bottle against a bottle-cap stick? Because it was really gross, unnecessary, predictable, and lame. Haven't they been going out for like, two weeks before David entered the house? And didn't... that Israeli guy (which, nice form doofus: how about flying home to attend to your DYING FAMILY instead of leeching around for media exposure and an Australian Visa, you fucking faggot. PS -- You are balding) sell his story to DNA of all magazines? Oh, yeah. Love.

Ugh... it was just so cringeworthy!!!! It took the sweet taste of David not winning right out of my mouth. And then the next night when he was all chest-thumpy and pointing at him... gurgle. David, honey, by my count you were in love with Michael and Darren (and also had crushes on Dino, Jamie, and Rob). I suspect you are just a lonely faggot, who, after being beaten up outside the fag club one to many times while you slowly wait for Mr Right to come along to give you the love your father never gave you, you are all to ready to jump into "love" at the first hint that someone thinks you are attractive/intelligent/sensitive etc. Ten bucks says you are trolling for love again at the Wickham before the year is out. Which is really quite sad, really.

Argh. David just really annoyed me. Like, he went in there to make a stand that being gay has no particular "look", and isn't one part of a guy's (or gal's) personality. Yet, not only did he sound and look tremendously gay (spotted by yours truly in the leaked Housemates photos), but by making such a huge deal of it ("coming out" to the housemates, deliberately hiding his sexuality, telling the producers that he would come out, etc.) he made his sexuality the only "interesting" part of his personality! Like, Johnny, Jamie, uhm... Nathan, and... uhm... those previous homos. They were gay, but they had personalities too. Bad personalities, yes, but at least they weren't defining themselves by their sexuality. I know David was meant to be the proud homo, but for me, Rob stole the show with his complete blasé attitude to his homosexuality, and that he could move on from it. Like, Rob is from Wollongong and had never been on a plane before. To come from that background and still be relatively down-to-earth, and to be comfortable with his flaming queeningness, is much more impressive than David, who while he now farms organic pears or whatever, went to private school in a capital city, travelled the world, and has (theoretically) adopted a much more digestible image of homosexuality. And way to enforce that, Big Brother, always focussing on that aspect, and having Gretel only talk about his gayness on the eviction stage. Sheesh. Fools.

I do, however, think the "reunion" on the catwalk was a bit... misjudged though. The screams for David died pretty quickly after the crowd was confronted with a (quite tame) projection of gay sexuality. I think I detected a few "faggots!" as well. Although I WAS on the Gold Coast when that was happening, so perhaps I have particularly loud lungs?

OH! And while I'm ranting, I saw, for the first time, David CRYING at Jamie and Katie's "wedding" because he can never experience that!!!! OH MY GOD. Shut. Up. DAVID. Maybe I'm a bit Will Beckwith in my attitude to queer politics, but Sweet Jesus. There is a time and place. Get a fucking grip already.

This was such a long post, on a topic that is so pointless and stupid I am slightly embarrassed. For all you Page Down scrollers, I will succinctly sum it up:

Dear David: Please get over it, and stop being so gross. Keep your homosexuality behind closed doors where it belongs. PS -- your true love is an ugly ass. How about you, me, and Thorpe go out for cocktails one night, and I can sort you both out? Okay? Good.