Guys, I'm in love. Seriously. This is my ideal man. Well, ideal as long as he is rich and doesn't have a faggy voice and wears nice shoes and likes black cars and is all about conspicuous consumption. Then he is my ideal man. Oh, and preferably European, with a cute accent. He's even dreamy eating an apple! Swoon.

If you don't know him -- which I certainly hope you don't (unless you physically hold his phone number in your hand. If that's the case, pipe up) -- he's some dude in the new Evanescence video. Now, I don't really like Evanescence. They are a bit confusing with the whole Christian Rock Band thing, and they are endlessly covered by untalented Australian Idol rejects. But I'm willing to give them a go if they are willing to support a fine piece of ass like this. In case you are all "huh?"-ing... observe! Photographic evidence:




Swoon. Even his shirt and tie look nice. Evanesence really overdose on the Gothic tropes (wolves, fairytales, friggin' levitating and spinning around weirdly) in this clip, but I don't care.

And yes, I'm still with Cap Guy, so quit bugging me about it. I'm just stuck in Relationship Limbo is all. Maybe I just need more friends, and they could tell me to shut the hell up and get over it. Or I should be a man and just end it. UGH. But then why would I want to do that? Things are still nice and fun. SEE?! My dilemma! Okay, I would definitely end it if I met this person in real life. And if he were rich and had a non-faggy voice.

I still think running away is my best option. But then I wouldn't want to do that until I was sure that Cap Guy would be okay. Did you know I'm actually encouraging him to invite his hot Swedish ex to come for a holiday in case they fall back in LOVE and then I won't feel so bad if I quietly left?????

Sometimes I have to wonder if I am slightly mentally challenged. It would explain why I drool so much when I suck dick.