Despite having an awesome surname, Mr Prideaux, you are quite possibly the ugliest human alive. My goodness, Ian Roberts is a beefy footballer turned actor! Surely there are more attractive faggots throwing themselves at him than this walking lesion? Guys, I'm serious. His face is hypnotisingly ugly. Yeesh.

I think it's a bit weird that this photo is linked in an article about the Roberts paedophile case. I mean, Roberts isn't the paedophile--he is claiming he was abused as a boy--but the photo clearly suggests that it is he who is the paedophile. Prideaux looks like an anorexic twelve year old. An anorexic twelve year old with a bottomless anus that widens via remote control, but a child nonetheless. Apparently Roberts physically assaulted this guy as well, which, yeah, doesn't shock me. I love that the article quotes Prideaux as saying it was "so not true" about him stealing a computer or something, and that "If I was trying to scratch him, he would have marks, trust me". His written words flame, people. You can imagine the lisp and over-gesticulations, while some hard-arsed conservative lawyer-type rolled their eyes and took a subtle step backwards.

And there he is, gay Australians: your high-profile role model! No wonder no one wants to let us get married.

Please, media! Give us images of attractive gay couples! Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger don't count, and I'm sorry but neither do Reichen and Lance. Anyone who's anyone knows that Chip was the brains behind that operation. If someone could ever get that shot of Chip getting out of the frozen lake on YouTube I would forever be grateful, mmmm. Also, Chip is a nice name. It's peppy. Chip Prideaux. Perfect!