I never thought that this blog would turn into a page for voyeurs who could watch the implosion of my relationship like the death of some once-magnificent star (not that my relationship was ever really as glorious and radiant as a heavenly object), but I had to say that I have stooped to a new low. Cap Guy and I very nearly ended things the other day, but I swerved and managed to not do so because my mother has told me that he is giving me a nice Christmas present this year.

WHO AM I??? WHY AM I SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON? WHO WOULD DO THAT TO SOMEONE?????

Sigh. Well, he isn't perfect either, I know. But come on. Why can't I think of HIS feelings? I don't want to string him along when I'm not really into it. But I am sad if I think of not seeing him again, and I don't want that. But then I'm not really happy, and he isn't really happy either. Well. He says he is. But I don't think he is. ARGH. See, when I was the only single one among all my couple friends I never really got why they would moan so much and find it all so difficult. Shut up, universe. Stop trying to teach me a lesson. I think the best way of things to end in my relationship would be if Cap Guy dropped me on my ass. Because I know I could bounce back. But I feel bad for him, because, well, there is no one better than me. Sigh. Foolish humans and their so-called "emotions".