Nerd Alert

Bent My Wookie
Bland Canyon
Face Hunter
Fruit Loops and Porn
Gay Sky Hooker
Go Fug Yourself
Inhibitory Links
Intergalactic Hussy
John Howard: PM
Ms Hairy Legs
Much Ado About Sumthin
Momo Freaks Out
Not a Turtle
Queer Penguin
Sheets and Blankets
Style Police
The Fash Mag Slag
The Line of Contempt
The Pen15 Club
The Spin Starts Here
The Superficial
Treading Water 101
Victim of Narcissism


Black People Love Us
Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay
Sexy Losers
Sin Fest
Television Without Pity
Tomato Nation
Three Way Action
White Ninja Comics




Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I'm so pleased with myself! Today I shed my self-imposed bourgeois limitations and got back in touch with the more common side of Dawei. This doesn't sound too impressive I know, but seeing as I've designated 2007 to be my Year of Change I'm quite pleased that I've already stretched myself so early in the new year. Firstly, I totally took the bus today! Normally I am a train man if I have to take public transport, but to get to the shockingly stupidly planned Green Bridge across to the UQ campus a bus was in order. It actually wasn't too bad, except for some bad cologne an old man was wearing. Did you know they have disabled seating on buses these days? My bus-taking was perfectly timed, as I also managed to fix a plumbing problem in my bathroom, further thrusting me into the daily grind of the blue collar worker. And I'll have you know that I managed to fix the drain without even having to call my father, let alone a qualified plumber! The water in my sink was not letting out fast enough, and I managed to find the right solution, execute it, and reaped the benefits! I was in Coles and worked out that Draino isn't used to clean sinks and drains, but, like, clears them out. Anyway, I found that it comes in these individual sachet things. I dumped one down the sink, poured in some water and it was fixed! I couldn't quite believe it. I mean, I'm glad I don't have to do it all the time and wear overalls to cover my clothes from other people's shit and bloodied tampons, but I was smugly thinking of our horrendously smelling plumber who is normally called for such problems.

Of course, I didn't want to have to call him in, as I suspect that part of the reason why the drain was blocked in the first place is that lately I've been washing masturbatory ejaculate down the sink without the usual collection of the majority in a tissue or towel. But I'm a busy man! I don't have time to wipe, rinse, wash, dry, then wash hands, and then clothe up again. In my laziness I've found that I just do the old scoop-n-dump trick (although in even lazier moments I have just aimed at the drain in the first place, as if it were a gated, gaping anus), needing only a wash of the hands and a pat down to be fresh and clean. Unfortunately I think that the water in the sink has congealed my various deposits, caking onto the walls of the drain and catching hair and other debris. How embarrassing if the plumber was all, "yeah, I found a lot of come in there" to my parents? Moral of the story? I've learnt the benefits of Draino and unlazy masturbatory practices.

Although speaking of my parents and my sex life, I was rather embarrassed as my mother has just returned from a conference, and given me a sample of lube. Of course she did it discretely by placing it on my side table next to my phone charger and piles of silver coins, but ewwwww. Creepy. I don't need my mother bringing me home lubricant. She also gave me that new genital warts vaccine (even though I'm several years too old and the wrong frickin' gender). Maybe she just thinks I'm a 'ho?

What a perfectly exhausting day.