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Thursday, May 31, 2007
I don't mean to take over Sam's monopoly on ad-bitching, but I've been simmering on this one for a while, and I can't hold it in anymore. I've realised that I'm all for "glass ceilings" when it comes to the advertising industry. Because now that women are all high-powered (or so they'd like to think), a trend of anti-male advertising is becoming more prevalent and really, it is quite offensive to the male sex. I would even go as far to say that these ads are so stupid the female gender on the whole is offended, as these power-lesbians, highfiveing themselves as they write these stupid and affronting ads that clearly do not appeal to either gender, reinforce the idea that women don't belong in high-end, corporate jobs.

Ad One

Company: NapiSan
Pitch: Stupid, mildly retarded man is picked off the street to participate in some bizarre, Japanese gameshow-esque competition involving laundry. He is forced to change into an unflattering pink polo (in order to strip him of any masculine power), and then is grilled on his laundry ability. Despite not living in circa 1960s Bewitched era, the man has no idea how anything runs in the laundry. The man makes frequent Eddie Maguire jokes, like it's suddenly 2001 again. Fortunately, a young twinky lady who looks like she's just gotten her Junior Certificate turns up to save the day, teaching the emasculated and humilated man how to put washing powder into the machine.

Ad Two

Company: Weird Noodle Company Whose Name I Can't Remember Highlighting How Bad This Ad Is
Pitch: Couple shown in just post-orgasmic delight. Man is in position of ultimate, primal weakness. Woman gets out of bed, and instead of wiping the cum from her thighs, she arrives at the microwave just as it begins beeping, with "2:00" being seen on the display, even though microwaves count down, not up. The woman has successfully prepared noodles, set the timer, and has been able to suffer through the premature ejaculation-y sexual escapades of her partner in under two minutes. Woman eats her noodles in a satisfying way, as stupid, vulnerable man snores comically.

I mean, what. The. Fuck? Even when men made women all object-y they were still like, hot. I'm sick of ads where men are reduced to incompetent, ugly, stupid, sexually inadequate losers. And these ads are hardly empowering! Like, why put a girl in Ad One to be the saviour? Way to reinforce your own stereotype, bitch. Why couldn't another man be the bearer of domestic knowledge? In Ad Two, the woman is meant to be all smug and amusing, but I just feel sorry for her. I mean, obviously the short sex isn't caused by premature ejaculation (the man is too happy to have come). Why should we applaud this woman when she obviously just accepts being masturbated into by her partner? Yeah, real empowering.

Come on, advertisers. If you are going to be sexist in your ads, at least make it visually entertaining! More boobies and bulges, less stupidity and asshat-y behaviour.