Ugh, I think I have AIDS. I've had a cold for like, five days now. And I normally never get colds, and if I do, they go away really quickly. And This is my second cold this winter! Obviously my immune system must be down. And I've only slept with one person in YEARS. Imagine how paranoid I would be if I was like, sucking off random dicks in parks or shagging around like a slutty 19 year old. UGH. Like, I feel bad enough when I get caught by surprise and end up with a mouthful of hot jizz. Of course, the lining of my mouth is impeccable, and I never have coldsores or anything gross like that. But I still get worried. Just because I am nice and pure and would never be all unfaithful or whatever doesn't mean HE hasn't been fucking any cheap slut with a hard dick and a smile. But that hasn't happened. I hope. And my lips are a bit chappy (it's a word!) at the moment. Argh. Okay, breathe, Dawei.

I just don't know how you more slutty men aren't just, like, crippled with nerves and paranoia! It really is the worst thing about being gay. Other than 90% of your potential partners being fugmo queens and everyone defining you by your sexual identity and like gay bashings and stuff.

Oh! I just realised that maybe my super-skinniness of the moment might be caused by the bug! Great. Okay. I am seriously freaking out. I don't think it will be worth being able to look awesome in painted-on jeans if I become covered in lesions and have to wear beanies and get that watery-eyed look oft-seen in Hallmark movies. I am not a hat-person, people.