In honour of my good pal Sam, I'm going to steal his "Ads I Hate" post. He's off somewhere overseas apparently, which I can hardly believe. What person from fucking Newcastle travels overseas as much as him?? Although I bet he's gone to New Zealand or Bali or Fiji or somewhere equally lame, and classed that as "overseas". Like those embarrassing wedding spreads in Sunday papers. You know, where the grooms are all moustache-y, and the brides are frumpy and wearing tiaras and shit? And they always list their honeymoons as being in really lame places? Yeah.

Ahem.

Anyway.

Two ads I hate at the moment are:

AD ONE

Super old, but that stupid tampon ad for V tampons or whatever? The ones that are "cool" because they come in coloured boxes? In one scene some stupid law student drop out does backflips in a library; in another, some Asian chick stereotypically dances on that Timezone doohicky; and in the third scene a frumpy Kate Dearaugo clone apparently suicides out her window, only to magically fall down a tree into her friend's waiting, badly painted BMW.

Stupid ad. Why couldn't they have just stuck with the second vignette? At least that makes sense: even with her period, and even with a wadded tissue torpedo crammed up her chunny, Miss China can still shake her lettuce, wear short shorts, and be cheered on by her adoring fans. The backflipping woman, and slightly porky tree-falling girl, are just stupid. And anyway, they look like the kind of girls who wear pads. WUSSES.

AD TWO

The new Ford Focus ad (maybe. What? I'm not a car person). Basically the car changes colour and styles as all its different owners are flashed around it. It's just, like, sooooo modern! There's an Indian woman! And... ommigod! TWO HOMOSEXUALS! IN COUPLE-FORM!!!! And possibly a lot of lesbians, depending if we are meant to assume that all the people in each shot own the one car. It's a bit confusing. Anyway, this ad is just a little too try-hard. I'm all for homos getting more media visibility, but why make them old and ugly? Like, one has grey hair! And they both have dogs! Haha, how cute! The homosexuals are so wacky with their dogs! They can't have children haha! Ugh. And I think it's borderline racist that they give the Indian woman a sari-coloured, fluro orange car. Be a bit imaginative, advertising people!