You know those scenes in bad porn movies where the pool guy spies on some hot naked dude who is conveniently sleeping in the hot sun without getting inappropriate ass-sweat and then the hot guy wakes up and tells the pool guy to get more comfortable and the pool guy strips off to an obscenely skimpy pair of dick togs and then the sleeping hot guy starts to massage his dick and then the pool guy sort of pushes around his obviously hard dick through the fabric of his dick togs and then the pool guy inhales the genitals of the sleeping hot guy and then the sleeping hot guy totally fucks the pool guy on the tiles of the now abandoned pool? Well, that totally happened to me this morning. And just in case you weren't sure about it before: porn movies are so totally inaccurate.

Ugh. Well, okay. So it didn't really go like that. In fact, I wasn't even being remotely slutty or inappropriate by sunbathing naked (and seeing as right now it's only about 11am I would have been almost terminally industrious). Rather, he saw me through the bathroom window while I was blow-drying my hair! Ugh, how mortifying. And, not only was I blow-drying my hair without wearing a towel for like the first time, ever, I was singing a song by the freakin' Rogue Traders. Sigh. I don't know what he thinks about me. I mean, I don't really care I guess, as he isn't hot at all. He looks a bit like a cross between Steve Irwin and Leatherface. Well, okay, just Steve Irwin then, if you consider what he looks like now, I guess.

EDIT: Okay, why do people assume the worst of me? I didn't have sex with him! As if! If I was the cheating kind, and I was going to have sex with someone else, they would at least be hot and have a lot of money or something. Sheesh. No, I just meant about the voyeuristic part of the porn movie. Sheesh!